is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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