You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
