her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's Friday. Sex?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
