Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
