i was born a porn star she said
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
