My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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