best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am naked and annoyed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
