i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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