Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
