Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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