There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
