i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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