I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
