Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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