butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yo dont text me then not text me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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