My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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