did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
