I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
