I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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