I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
