what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
