brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I looked at my own cervix.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
