you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So much Jack, so little girl.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
