My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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