if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize