Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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