i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
