I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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