they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
