I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
