What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
