What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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