Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
