Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
