But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize