a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
