nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do vagina's smell?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
