My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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