I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
