thus making me awesome and them whores
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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