I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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