the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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