You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
