dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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