i think my tv is drunk
i think i have herpe
just one?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
