3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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