Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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