I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
