Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
MIDGETS
????
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize