Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
