peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
