Small penises have feelings too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
