In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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