my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
