47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
