I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize