You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
