Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
