you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
