Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
